Duelist Swears
by Coco Gash Jirachi
Summary: Crackfic. Sheppard bans a list of words from Duel Academy, which Jaden finds. He Jesse and Atticus start to wreak havoc on the island, but later they get in trouble when Bastion and Hassleberry find out. Slight BastionJaden HassleberryJesse and ZaneSyrus.


**Duelist Swears **

**By Coco Gash Jirachi**

**Disclaimer: I don't own G/X, or the Potter Puppet Pals that this is inspired by.**

**Summary: Crackfic. Sheppard bans a list of words from Duel Academy, which Jaden finds. He Jesse and Atticus start to wreak havoc on the island, but then later, they get in trouble when Bastion and Hassleberry find out. Slight BastionxJaden, HassleberryxJesse, and ZanexSyrus.**

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"Yo, Jess! Chancellor Sheppard posted a list of words that are banned from the island!" Jaden said. "I never knew duelists had special swears!"

"Of course they do, Jaden. They're called Duelist Swears." Jesse said. "They're sayings like Kuriboh Bum."

"Really? That's adorable!" Jaden said.

"Oh, there are worse than that." Jesse said. "Read some, Jaden."

"Hm, let's see here..." Jaden said, looking at the paper with the list of words. "Son Of A Neos... That's useful."

"Sapphire Pegasex, that's my favorite." Jesse said.

"Ahem, do my ears detect foul-mouthed-ness?" Crowler asked, approaching the two, whom sat on the stone statues in front of the school.

"Oh, no Mrs. Crowler-" Jesse said before being cut short.

"Yugi Muto's Nipple!" Jaden blurted out.

"Excuse me?!" Crowler said, anger in his shrill voice and (creepy-looking) face.

"Jaden!" Jesse said through gritted teeth.

"I refuse to have this filth spewed in my presence, Mr. Yuki." Crowler said. "Five-hundred-thousand points off of your next pop quiz."

"Red Eyes Black Boogies!" Atticus said, swinging down from a tree branch.

"Everybody run..." Jaden whispered. "I Summon Yo Momma!" he shouted loudly before the three of them sped off.

"... Rebel rousers..."

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All three of them collapsed onto the ground, laughing when they were in front of the Rah Yellow dorms.

"Oh, that was fun!" Jaden said, swiping a tear from his eye.

"Hello Jaden, Jesse, Atticus... what's up guys?" Marcel asked, standing just outside of the door of the dorms.

"Oh, hi Marcel..." Jaden said as they got back up.

"We're saying Duelist's naughty words like Emergency Masturbaters." Atticus said.

Marcel gasped, taking a step back.

"My Father forbids me from using such language..." said the French-accented boy.

"Well your Father is an Asshole Gear Golem!" Jaden said.

Marcel gasped, nearly having a heart attack.

"He doesn't mean it, Marcel." Jesse told him. "He's just testing out some Duelist Swears."

"I'm telling Chancellor Sheppard..." Marcel said, taking a step forwards.

"You're such a Sagi The Gay He-She Clown..." Atticus said.

"This is against the rules..." Marcel said.

"I can't let you do this, Marcel." Jaden said, blocking him away from the way to the building.

"No, no... He doesn't want me to swear. My Father doesn't want me to swear..." Marcel said, taking a step in the other direction, but Jaden stepped the same way.

"Are you a friend of ours or not, Marcel?" Atticus asked.

"I- I am, but, but..." Marcel stuttered.

"Try it then. Here's the list, say anything." Jaden said, holding the list in front of Marcel's face.

Shaking, making nervous noises, Marcel looked for a word that wouldn't be very insulting.

"You can do it, Marcel." Jesse said.

"Kaiba's... Buttcrack..." Marcel said, just barely loud enough for them to hear.

**"YAAAAAY!"** the three of them cheered.

_**"MARCEL! WERE YOU JUST SWEARING?!"**_ Bonparte shouted from a distance.

"Oh French bread," Marcel said, his eyes widening. "I have got to go hide!" he said in a panic as he rushed back into the Rah dorms.

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"You're quite the swearin' machine today, Jaden..." Jesse said as they walked nearby the Slifer dorms.

"Yeah, you're just dripping with boyish attitude." Atticus said.

Soon, Jaden saw Zane and Syrus standing side-by-side at the lighthouse.

"Hey, let's do a prank call!" Jaden said, taking out his PDA.

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"... And that's why I find Atticus annoying..." Zane said.

Just then, the PDA in his jacket began to ring. He took it out, and pressed the button to turn it on. The screen was blank black.

"Zane Truesdale speaking." he said.

_"Cyber Dragon Taint!"_

Zane's anger began to boil as he heard three voices laughing.

"What?! You kids! If I ever find out who's calling me, I will hunt you down, and I will strangle you! Now stop calling!"

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"There they are," Crowler said.

That made the three of them stop rolling around on the grass from laughter, and quickly switched off the PDA.

"Dr. Crowler would like to have a word with you kids." Sheppard said.

"Oh Emerald Turtle-Turds..." Jesse said.

"That is exactly the sort of vulgarity that I want to eradicate from the distinguished halls of Duel Academy." Crowler began. "The traditions of the school must be upheld and respected." he said as they stood up, Jaden giving a careless yawn and a stretch. "Seto Kaiba surely would-"

"Mother Fucking Blue Eyes White Shit, Teach!" Jaden said.

_**"WHAT?!"**_ Crowler said in a more shrill voice than before.

"You Floppy Duel Disked Dueling Buggerer!" Jaden said.

"... Watapon Tampon." Atticus said.

"Chancellor, I urge you to expell these Monsters." Crowler said.

"Oh Crowler, let them have their flap-doodle." Sheppard said.

"But you're the one who banned the words in the first place..." Crowler said.

"I don't even remember writing the list." Sheppard said. "Back to your grading."

Crowler walked off, fussing under his breath about almost having Jaden gone again.

"Thank you so much, Chancellor." Jesse said.

"Alas, your welcome." Sheppard said.

"... Chancellor, you're obscenely old, right?" Jaden asked.

"Why, yes." Sheppard answered.

"Do you know any Super Ancient Lost Of The Ages Archaic Olden Times Duelist Swears?" asked Jaden, cocking his head to the side.

"Uh, well, there is one..." Sheppard said.

"I want to hear it!" Atticus said.

"The Elder Swear. You must never repeat it to anyone." began Sheppard.

"We won't, Chancellor." Jesse answered.

"Here it is..." Sheppard said before taking in a breath. _**"YOUR MOTHER IS A**_ (Multiple censors)_**ING**_ (Censor) _**LAURA MIBSON**_ (Multiple censors) _**ABMINUMVENINIUM**_ (Multiple censors) _**TRAGOONA**_ (Multiple censors) _**HIPPOPOTAMUS**_ (Multiple censors)_**ING REPUBLICAN**_ (Multiple censors) _**AND DANIEL RADCLIFFE**_ (Multiple censors) _**WITH A BUCKET OF**_ (Multiple censors)_**ING IN A CASTLE FAR AWAY WHERE NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU**_ (Multiple censors) _**SOUP**_ (Multiple censors) _**WITH A BUCKET OF D**_(Multiple censors) _**MICKEY MOUSE**_ (Multiple censors) _**AND A STICK OF DYNAMITE**_ (Multiple censors) _**MAGICAL**_ (Multiple censors) _**ALAKAZAM!"**_

The three just stood there.

"... Wow..." Atticus finally said, breaking the silence.

"Now you know." Sheppard told them. "You must never, ever repeat it, okay?"

"... We promise sir." Jaden said.

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Marcel had his ears covered, shaking his head as he tried to edge away from the swearing.

_**"YOUR MOTHER IS A**_ (Multiple censors)_**ING**_ (Censor) _**LAURA MIBSON**_ (Multiple censors) _**ABMINUMVENINIUM**_ (Multiple censors) _**TRAGOONA**_ (Multiple censors) _**HIPPOPOTAMUS**_ (censor)-_**"**_

_**"Jaden Takashi Yuki!"**_

_**"Atticus Skipper Rhodes!"**_

_**"Jesse Carmen Anderson!"**_

Marcel jerked his head up, seeing the three elder teens whom cut the the three boys short of the Elder swear.

"I had a feeling it was you who prank called me..." Zane said.

"Oh Kuri-Buttsex..." Jesse said.

"Oh sweet haven! You are my saviors!" Marcel said, standing back up.

"Jaden, you should have realized right off of the bat that those weren't real words, and should never be said for a reason..." Bastion began.

"Why shouldn't they be said?" Atticus asked.

"They're sayings that sound funny, and sometimes cute and all, but they're disrespecting Duel Monsters..." Alexis answered, her arms crossed.

At that, they all gained wide eyes.

_**"DISRESPECTING DUEL MONSTERS?!"**_ they shouted in unison. They then broke into a panic, and stared running around frantically.

_**"I can't stay here! I have to switch schools and change my name!"**_ Jaden shouted. _**"I am now Yuki Jaden Takashi!"**_

_**"I need chocolate! I need chocolate!"**_ Jesse kept on screeching.

_**"I need something to yell about!"**_ Atticus kept on repeating as he pulled his hair.

"... Come to think of it, I had better be running..." Marcel said before speeding off into the forest.

"_**OW!**_ Bastion, that's my ear!" Jaden whined when Bastion grasped him by the ear.

"It's time for a talk, young man..." Bastion said, just like a Mother.

"Gottcha, soldier." Hassleberry said, catching Jesse in one arm, holding him over his shoulder, keeping a hold of his legs, his ass in the air.

"Aw hell..." Jesse said, letting his hair fall and cover his face.

"But why my ear?" Jaden asked as Bastion practically dragged him after himself.

"Because it will keep your attention," Bastion said.

"... Can I just say one thing?" Jaden asked.

"Which would be...?" Bastion asked.

"Yubel The Transsexual!"

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**_THEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEENDTHEEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**... What can I say? _I WAS BORED!_**

**Anyways... this was based after and inspired by the _Potter Puppet Pals_ episode called _Wizard Swears._**

**And... I'm not tired, it's one-thirty in the morning, so I'm off to work on_ Transmutation Circles And Duel Disks_ and the sequel to _The Star Of Anderson..._**


End file.
